MAR
2010
28

Jeremy Scott Bone Heels

Manolo says, yes, yes, Wilma and Betty, etc, etc.

Jeremy Scott Bone Heels for AdidasJeremy Scott Bone Heels for Adidas

And yet, even as we acknowledge the debt designer Jeremy Scott has paid to the people at Hanna-Barbera, we must also note that these shoes, although amusing, are only half as amusing as they think they are.

For the Manolo, they are perhaps too obvious, the joke perhaps too labored. Or perhaps the real problem is that the Manolo wonders about the circumstances in which one could wear these peculiar shoes.

Part of what made the famous Marc Jacobs mouse shoes so wonderful was that they were casual shoes, which mean that one could safely enjoy their whimsicality without undermining one’s style choices. The problem with the bone heels is that the joke has been wedded with the more formal court shoes, and thus to find the occasion where their humor would be appropriate or welcome with your black dress and pearls would be difficult.

FEB
2010
19

Manolo the Columnist: Temptation from Circa Joan and David

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

I’m working in a job that pays me far too little with far too little personal satisfaction, and while I know that in this economy I should be thankful to even have a job, I’m still dissatisfied. I’m especially unhappy that I can’t afford to wear better shoes to work. Please help me find something that’s both good-looking and affordable.

Megan

Manolo says, oh how the Manolo empathizes with his friend’s situation, for the Manolo himself has been more than once stuck in the menial job, laboring like the monkey for the handful of peanuts.

As the Manolo always recommends, you should save up your moneys so as to afford the truly super fantastic shoes, as few things feel as good as wearing amazing shoes.

But the Manolo also knows exactly what it is like to be poor, so poor that you must fashion your own super fantastic shoes out of dented hubcaps and pieces of rubber tire that you have gathered from along the verge of the highway and glued together with your own salty bitter tears.

Look, here is the Temptation from Circa Joan and David, the kitten-heeled pointy-toed pump that would look very smart at work for not too much moneys.

Temptation from Circa by Joan and David

JAN
2010
25

Valentino Couture Bow Slingbacks For the Monday

Manolo says, it is Monday and you are back at your desk doing that thing that you do, and what is up with the never ending weather.

Yes, it is winter, but that is no excuse for the abysmal weather which does not seem to relent, throwing you in the seasonally affected disorder which can only be alleviated by looking at beautiful shoes, such as these…

Valentino Couture Bow Slingback Pumps

The Couture Bow Slingback Pumps from Valentino!

If this is not the cure the for the winter-time blues the Manolo does not know what is.

Holiday Shoes, 2009, Part II

Kate Spade Giula   Manolo Likes!  Click!

Manolo says, and so you need to go to the fancy-pantsy Holiday Ball in which the gentlemen will be in their best suits and the ladies will be dressed like countesses in the old MGM comedy.

What to wear on the feets? The Giula from Kate Spade!

Beautiful, restrained, elegant shoes, with the exact right amount of the alluringly peeping toes.

Holiday Shoes, 2009

Moschino Ankle-strap Peep-Toe Pump   Manolo Likes!  Click!

Manolo says, here is the ruffled-ankle-strap, peep-toe pump from Moschino in the brilliant red color that perfectly captures the festive spirit of the season!

DEC
2009
08

Valentino Side Bow Peep-Toe Pumps For the Tuesday

Manolo says, it is Tuesday, and you are back at your desk, Christmas barreling down upon you like the runaway train filled with stocking stuffers and mistletoe.

You have tried to minimize the damage this year by doing much of your shopping on the computer, although you know, in your heart, that nothing is better than shoving your way through the crowds at Toys-R-Us and fist-fighting with the other parents for the last Mr. Squiggles Zhu Zhu Pets Hamster.

This struggle for the perfect gift is so atavistic, so primal, so brutal, so… jolly!

Sadly, all of this computer shopping has domesticated your annual holiday struggle, and frankly, although it has made your life less angsty, you still miss the combat.

What can you say. Ever since you were the little girl you have associated Christmas with knocking people down at the mall. Gary blames your mother.

“That woman,” he said one day as she drove away in her Cadillac Eldorado, striking the neighbor’s hedge, “is a menace.”

Yes, your mother is the menace.

But, in her favor, she fought purse-and-nail to make every Christmas the best ever. Indeed, your sister still has the Talky Crissy Doll she joyously unwrapped on Christmas morning, 1972, although, sadly, since early 1976, Crissy’s hair has been stuck in the Dorothy Hammill bob, unable to grow thanks to your attempts at giving her the makeover.

You know what? Maybe a quick trip to the mall wouldn’t hurt. Just pop in, shove the couple of shoppers to the ground, and pop out bearing the sack of presents.

Good times, good times.

Look, here is the beautiful Valentino Side Bow Peep-Toe Pumps to sooth your savage breast.

Valentino Side Bow Peep-Toe Pump   Manolo Likes!  Click!

Manolo the Columnist: Betty T-Strap from Frye

Manolo says, here is the Manolo latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

I’ve been invited by my boyfriend to spend Thanksgiving with his family in rural Kentucky. This will be my first meeting with his “kinfolk,” and although I know he is exaggerating when he describes their country ways, as he himself is quite urbane, I’m still worried. What should I wear?

Meredith

Manolo says, the Manolo is sorry, but whenever he hears the words “kinfolk” and “Kentucky” he thinks of the movie entitled Next of Kin in which Bill Paxton, Liam Neeson, and the late Patrick Swayze play three hillbilly brothers from deepest Appalachia. (Even the Manolo, whose English is not so good, could tell that everybody was faking the accent. )

In any event, the Manolo takes away two important lessons about rural Kentucky from watching this piece of cinematic flapdoodle.

The first is do not mess with the kinfolks, lest the hillbillies come after you with their antique shotguns, crossbows, Bowie knives, and rattlesnakes.

The second is always be polite to the rural people, or as the great Monday Night Philosopher, Hank the Bocephus, Jr, says about the country boys, “We say grace and we say ma’am and if you ain’t into that we don’t understand.”

As for what to wear, the Manolo suggests the Betty T-Strap from Frye, as being the shoe sturdy enough for the country road, and yet not inappropriate for Thanksgiving dinner or the church on Sunday.

Betty T-Strap Pump from Frye  Manolo Likes!  Click!

Gray Cavalli Pumps for the Autumn Evening

Gray Suede Pumps from Roberto Cavalli   Manolo Likes!  Click!

Manolo says, here are the pair of tastefully embellished gray suede pumps from the Roberto Cavalli that the Manolo thinks would be perfect for autumnal soiree.

As always, the Manolo is surprised when Cavalli chooses restraint..

Christian Louboutin Moira Cutout Pump For the Monday

Manolo says, it is Monday and you are back at your desk after the very tiring weekend of nostalgia and regret, the weekend of your 25th college reunion.

It was wonderful to see all of your old friends and acquaintances, and to note, with both satisfaction and alarm, how they have have become middle aged peoples, with gray hairs, spreading bellies, and enough wrinkly crows feets to constitute the murder.

Although your college boyfriend, the aspiring film director who had majored in pot smoking and ultimate frisbee, looked better than ever, like the bronzed Greek god — tall, lean, and tanned, with the full head of beautiful, naturally highlighted, wavy hair — the consequence of spending most of his days in the water off of Point Dume (and his evenings parking cars at the fancy Italian restaurant off of Wilshire Boulevard).

“I’d describe myself as an independent filmmaker and producer,” he said, while Gary, your husband, flirted with the young, porn-starish blond who accompanied your ex. “I’ve got a couple things in development, and my latest short is up is up to 7,100 hits on YouTube.”

Of course, much more disturbing was the appearance of the skinny Pakistani boy, Nayyar, who had latched onto you during your senior year, utterly besotted.

He was sweet in that unworldly, innocent, geeky way–tall and skinny with the prominent nose and wild hair. But, because he was harmless, you never had the heart to tell him to get lost, even as he shadowed you from class to lunch to class, never taking the not so subtle hints that he should go away for the few minutes. (At graduation, when you met his parents, you realized that he had been describing you to them as his “special friend” and that they had expected, with some alarm, that the proposal would follow. )

But there he was at the reunion, in his bespoke Saville Row suit, looking like 743 million dollars (according to Forbes), with homes in London, Singapore, New York, and Gastaad, and his own very successful international equities hedge fund. He had filled out marvelously, become more refined and better looking, and was now objectively hunky, a testament to the powers of expensive tailors, barbers, and personal trainers. And look at his wife! She could be Padma Lakhsmi’s younger, better-looking, more cultured sister.

Naturally, Nayyar and his wife were seated at the same table with you and Gary during the gala dinner, which, oddly turned out to be great fun. The wife was charmingly funny and smart, and Gary, the hale-fellow everyman, bonded with Nayyar over the lengthy discussion of riding mowers.

“Was Nayyar the fellow you and your sister call the ‘Wacky Pak’?” Gary asked, later that night in the hotel, “He doesn’t seem very wacky.”

And now this morning, back at desk, all you can think about were the shoes on Nayyar’s wife’s beautifully elegant feet.. Moira Cutout Patent Pumps from Christian Louboutin!

Christian Louboutin For the Columbus Day Monday

Manolo says, it is Monday, and perhaps you are at your desk, or perhaps you are not (seeing as it is either the Day of Columbus or, for some, the Día de la Raza). Either way, whether you are at the work or enjoying the day off, today is the day to celebrate discovery.

And what better way to celebrate this discovery than by remembering the woman who made it all possible, Isabel la Catolica, the Spanish Queen who provided the approval and funding for the Columbian scheme?

Of the course, we do not know exactly what shoes Isabel actually wore on the fateful day when Cristobal Colon was finally given the approval.

Happily, however, the Manolo is the amateur student of history, one who is qualified to make the educated guess, and thus he imagines it was something like this…

The Christian Louboutin Glitter Peep-toe Slingback.

Although, the Manolo is also willing to accept that it was the glittery sandal, such as this.

Straratata Glitter Platform Sandals from Christian Louboutin   Manolo Likes!  Click!

The Christian Louboutin Straratata Glitter Platform Sandals

“But, Manolo,” you are perhaps saying to yourself, “late 15th Century lady monarchs would have worn sensible brocade flats, not glittery-sexy pumps or sandals.”

To which the Manolo replies, O RLY?

The application of the well-known reasoning principal entia non sunt multiplicanda praeter necessitatem, yields the following locgical question: “What sort of fabulous shoes would you wear, if you were a) the most powerful queen in the world and b) able to be carried anywhere you wished in the opulent sedan chair?”

To which the most reasonable answer is Glittery Louboutin Platforms!*

Thus…Q to E to the D.

*The answer “Bejeweled Louboutin Platforms”, is also acceptable.

Manolo the Columnist: Sebbie from Kate Spade

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

My boyfriend and I have tickets to attend the Metropolitan Opera in December. We have very good seats, and I want to get dressed up, but I also don’t want to be cold or uncomfortable walking around New York on our way to and from the event. Do you have a suggestion for a pair of shoes that says “dress up” but also “winter”?

Elizabeth

Manolo says, how nice to see that there are young peoples who are still taking the interest in the opera! The Manolo had begun to believe that it was only the fogeys of oldness, such as himself, who still cared.

Of the course, one of the minor pleasures of aging is being able to complain about the cultural philistinism of the young peoples.

You know, sort of like, “These truculent whippersnappers racing their jalopies down to the drug-store and getting themselves all het up over that Bing Crosby on the jukebox, thinking Jolson isn’t good enough for them. Why it’s the end of western civilization, I tell you!”

Although, the first opera whippersnappers undoubtedly had their coachmen race their carriages down to the opera house, where they got all het up over Mozart, and thought Gregorian chant wasn’t good enough for them.

Look! Here is the Sebbie from Kate Spade. The elegant black suede pump with exactly the right about of understated ornamentation.

Sebbie from Kate Spade  The Manolo Likes!  Click!

Tory Burch Velvet Bria Pump

Tory Burch Velvet Bria Pump   Manolo Likes!  Click!

Manolo says, it is Tuesday, do you know where your Tory Burch Velvet Bria Pumps are? On the feets or in the closet are the only acceptable answers.

By the way, it is the bamboo heel that makes this shoe more than the sum of its very charming parts.