Manolo the Columnist: Laurance Cage Sandals from Christians Louboutin

Dear Manolo,

Not only is weather here abominable, but worse my boyfriend won’t be able to get back from Atlanta in time for Valentine’s Day. Can you please, please suggest some shoes that will cheer me up.

Monica

Manolo says, just the mere two weeks ago, the Manolo was mocking the apocalyptic prognostications of the weather people, and now, ayyyyy! The real Snowpocalypse his finally here! And now, the Manolo is regretting his insouciance.

Although, one must admit that it that the current situation is very much like the fairy tale of the Weatherboy who cried Winter Storm Wolf. If every little flurry of flakes is greeted with the shouts of panicked trepidation, then when the real storms of ice arrive we all be out on the roads, where we will encounter the fellow drivers who have only recently arrived from exotic places such as Equatorial Guinea and Miami, where ice is merely theoretical.

At that point, after you have abandoned your car in the ditch along side the road and are trudging home through three miles of ice and snow in your flip-flops, because you had rushed out at the last minute to buy the extra feathers for your down comforter, you will be drawing up elaborate plans of revenge on the entire class of weather people, involving ice floes, arctic seas and the hungry, hungry polar bears.

Look! Here is the Laurence leather cage, lace-up sandals from the Christian Louboutin, in the beautiful riviera blue, because, of the course, the French Riviera is where you would rather be.

Laurance Cage Sandals from Louboutin

Manolo the Columnist: Wallace from Belle by Sigerson Morrison

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

Valentine’s Day is coming up and it also happens to be my nephew’s birthday. My sister is throwing a big bash in his honor and said the attire is “whimsical yet casual” I like wedges but have small feet, What do you suggest?

Elizabeth

Manolo says, ayyyy! The Dia de San Valentin, it approaches! Woe unto the man who neglects his duty to provide for his beloved the items of sufficient quality, cost, and/or sentimentality to properly express his undying affection.

If you are at the loss for what to give, the Manolo suggests costly chocolates, whose cocoa has been delivered to the master-hipster chocolatier’s Brooklyn atelier by the labor-intensive and ecologically-sound modes of transportation, such the windjammer and the cargo bicycle, where it is mixed with finest heirloom ingredients, its mature and complex flavors swathed in luxury, and then lovingly urged into antique heart-shaped molds, plucked out at the exact moment and packaged in the hand-made letterpress box decorated with old-fashionedy 19th century lettering.

Or, you can do the same thing you did the last year, give to your fine lady the single red rose, procured from the $1.99 “Last Minute Valentines” bin at the Quik-Mart while you are filling the Honda Civic with fuel and yourself with Mountain Dew and beef jerky.

Or, you can do as the Manolo’s friend has done and give the whole love thing the pass, and go to the child’s birthday party. It sounds more sensible.

Here is the Wallace from the Belle by Sigerson Morrison, the moderately whimsical, moderately practical wedge heel shoe.

Wallace from Belle by Sigerson Morrison

FEB
2014
03

Manolo the Columnist: Cate the Great Deco from Sorel

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

This series of polar vortexes has left me very disgruntled and cold footed. I need a pair of winter boots, and I need them right now. Can you please recommend something serious but with a little flair.

Shanna

Manolo says, the Manolo has noticed that, thanks to the omnipresent hunt for the television ratings, we now live in the era of weather hysteria, when every dip or rise in the temperature, every summer shower or light snowstorm is greeted by the telegenic weather peoples as if it were the impending asteroid strike. The worst of the lot is the Weather Channel, which used to be the boring but sensible provider of climatological information, but is now in the mass panic business, to the point that they are giving names to the ordinary winter storms as if they were the hurricanes.

“Tonight as winter storm Attila the Death-Bringer hammers the area with up to two inches of concentrated white murder, and howling winds of fifteen miles an hours, temperatures will dip into the extinction event zone, falling below the point at which water, itself, ceases to flow, turning the tri-state area into a colorless wasteland of ice and death.”

So, you get up early the next morning, eager to greet the end of the world, only to find that it is 26 degrees, and your neighbor Murry, who is so nice, has already swept the light-dusting of concentrated murder from the sidewalk with the push broom.

Here is the Cate the Great Deco from Sorel, the serious sassy winter boot that, for some reason, makes the Manolo smile.

Cate the Great from SOREL

JAN
2014
29

Manolo the Columnist: Clayton from Joie

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for he Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

I’m very tall, 5’11” to be specific, and for most of my life (I’m now 29) I’ve avoided wearing heels so that I don’t tower over others in the crowd. However, I’ve decided that I’m now confident enough to try to look a little more glamorous when I go out. What would you recommend? How high is too high a heel?

Michelle

Manolo ask, how high the heel? The Manolo answers, how high the moon!

Every few of the months, the Manolo gets the question from the tall girl asking permission to wear the tall heels, as if the Manolo were the world authority on the social life of the vollyball players and super models. The implicit question is always the same, will the shorty boys not like being with the tally girls, who are the head-and-bosom statuesque over them?

And every few of the months the Manolo gives the same answer, which is the same thing he says to all the girls, fat, thin, short, or tall, stop slumping, stand up straight, throw back the shoulders, and wear the heels if you want. Few things are more appealing than good posture and self-confidence.

Who cares what the insecure men will think? Any man who would feel threatened by the young woman because she is too tall is the man whose opinion is perhaps not worth the consideration.

Here is the Clayton from Joie,, the provocative, suede, 3¾ inch peep-toe with the ankle ties that will be perfect for those little-black-dress functions where the tall girls are appreciated.

Clayton from Joie

JAN
2014
20

Manolo the Columnist: Cutout Python Sandals from Alexandre Birman

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column from the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

It’s the middle of January, the weather has been abominable, and my job is dreary. Everyday, I feel like I’m slogging through a gray fog. Can you please, please, show me a pair of super fantastic shoes to cheer me up until the sun returns?

Sarah

Manolo says, it is true! In the depths of the deepest winter we find ourselves wondering why our best friend the sun has betrayed us, becoming distant, his smile giving no warmth. Worse, we hear from other peoples that he is out partying down with all sorts of peoples in places like Melbourne and Rio de Janeiro, while we sit here on the sofa with the oversized mug of hot cocoa, with double extra marshmallows, watching Lena Dunham look uncomfortable in various ill-fitting outfits.

Oh , how we long to text the message to our former BFF, Sol.

“Were u @, bro?”

And if he truly cared about us, he would text us back.

“Chillax, holmes. Taking care of sum bidness down south. Back in few wks.”

But that is not really enough to fully assuage our jealousy, for we know that Sol is the ultimate party person. Wherever he goes there will be the hot girls in bikinis and the buff boys in the tighty-tight swim trunks.

In such dolorous moments, experience has taught us that our greatest comfort will be the beautiful shoes. Here is the cutout python sandals from Alexandre Birman, the super fantastic fantasy shoe that will spread warmth to all who gaze upon it’s magnificence.

Alexandre Birman cutout python pups

DEC
2013
25

The Merriest of Christmases!

Manolo says, the Manolo wishes all of his super fantastic internet friend the merriest, cheeriest, happiest, most wonderfulest Christmas ever!

DEC
2013
18

Manolo the Columnist: Gem from Kors by Michael Kors

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

My husband has just announced that we¹re going to Miami Beach right after vChristmas for a couple of weeks of fun. I need some new sandals that will work in an upscale resort sort of way. Please help.

Jessica

Manolo says, ayyyy! The Manolo loves the Miami Beach, especially in the depths of the deepest winter when all of the roads in the Northeast are covered with the piles of the dirty icy slush, and all of the peoples are sullen and grey.

Then, it is the perfect time to escape to the South Florida, the sunny, Ron Rico-fueled land of pastel-colored madness and alligators, wherevoverly-tanned matrons in underly-clothed bikinis mingle with the sunburned Canadians who are squinting confusedly at that hot, bright orange ball of flames in the sky.

South Florida in the winter is the land of endless possibility; anything and everything can happen. One minute you are drinking the mai tais with the seven-feet tall Cuban drag queen, and the next you are riding the airboat through the swamps with the bearded man in the Dale, Jr cap who claims his actual given name is “Cooter Epstein”.

Yes, we are nearly 25 years down the road from the Miami Vice, but you still expect to see Don Johnson appear at any minute, with the sleeves of his white Armani jacket pushed up to his elbows.

Here is the Gem from the Kors by the Michael Kors, the golden flat sandal for the golden winter days and gilded nights of Miami Beach.

Gem from Kors by Michael Kors

DEC
2013
10

Manolo the Columnist: Poco from Stuart Weitzman

Manolo says, here is the column from the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

Holiday season is here again, and I STILL don’t have a good pair of shoes for those dressy parties. My feet are average size, but a bit flat. Worse, those super high, very fashionable, shoes are the worse for my knees. I would love a pair of stylish, even sexy, dress shoes that will be comfortable for the whole evening (and won’t leave me soaking my sore feet for days after the event). What do you think Manolo?

Donna

Manolo says, ayyyy! The holidays, they are upon us, like the hungry polar bear on the hapless baby seal! Hurry! Roll into the ball and protect your vital organs!

The Manolo sings:

It’s the most wonderful time of the year!
With the kids toy-full yelling,
And Nordstroms is selling red sweaters you jeer.
It’s the most wonderful time of the year.

Office parties for drinking,
And bosses for thinking,
Your career is ending, let’s go.
There’ll be sad hosting duties,
And credit card worries,
And fruitcake from long, long ago.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year!
There’ll be much sullen groaning
And turkey-full moaning
And eggnog from cartons you fear.
It’s the most wonderful time of the year!

Here is the Poco from the Stuart Weitzman the snazzy kitten heel in the color imaginatively called the “pyrite nocturn”, perfect for the elegant evening of seasonal “fun”.

Poco from Stuart Weitzman

NOV
2013
29

Ash Trainers for the Black Friday

Manolo says, ayyyyy! The Black Friday has arrived! Let the ordeal of Christmas begin!

Actually, the Manolo likes the Christmas, with the twinkling lights, and the snow and the jolly elves. He does not, however, like the Black Friday, which is why he chooses to spend this day in his study, reading the books on lepidopterology and sipping hot toddies. To venture forth today among the frenzied shoppers, bashing each other over the head to save the nickle, would be too fatiguing for all but the most hardened individuals. The spirit rebels at such scenes.

This is why the internet was invented, to save us from the spectacle of mass man at his massiest. In stead of wrestling with the crowds, we may now do all of our Christmas shoppings from while sitting in our easy chairs, hot toddy at the elbow. And, when the shopping is finished, we can look at the feetwear from the Ash Shoes.

For the example, after the long time of indifference, the Manolo has decided that he does indeed like the Ash trainers, specifically these…

Ash Wedge Trainers

The Genial from Ash, the Converse-inspired, wedge-heeled trainer with the buckles instead of the laces. There is so much going on here it probably should not work, and yet, the Manolo thinks that it does work, and thinking about why it works, takes the Manolo’s mind off of the Black Friday barbarity that is taking place at Wal-Mart this very instant.

NOV
2013
25

Micheall Kors Andina for the Monday

Manolo says, it is the Monday before the Thanksgiving and because the holiday season is abbreviated this year, you have already begun the Christmas shopping, which is apparently what everyone has done, because when you went out to the mall to do some malling over the weekend, everyone was there. The mobs have turned out in full force, fighting over the same toys and electronic geegaws.

Of course, as bad as it was this past weekend, it will be nothing compared to the horror that is the Black Friday, when entire families lose their senses, and leave their homes at midnight, venturing forth to save the few dollars on things that they do not need.

The Manolo says, let Thanksgiving be the day of giving proper thanks, not the warm-up period for the start of the consumer glut. Let us remember what we already have before we add to the collection.

This is why the Manolo was indeed most happy to see that the Nordstroms is refusing to put up the Christmas decorations until the Thanksgiving is over, which is the tiny, small victory for tradition and proper order.

Speaking of the tradition, what could be more traditional than the pair of riding boots? Here (via the Daniel Footwear) is the Adina from Michael Kors.

Adina Boots from Michael Kors

Classic styling and the good looks from Michael Kors that will have you looking completely pulled together, like someone who knows the correct order of the holidays.

NOV
2013
24

Manolo the Columnist: Diema from Calvin Klein

Manolo says, here is the recent column of the Manolo for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

I’m a junior in college, and for the past few weeks I’ve been interning at a high school counseling office. The problem is that my supervisor just told me that I have to look like a “professional adult, and not like a high school senior.” I’m on a really tight budget, can you help?

Olivia

Manolo says, oh, that the worst of the Manolo’s problems were that he looked too much like the high school senior. Indeed, the Manolo has always had the opposite problem, that even when he was in the junior high school, at the Our Lady of the Flaming Spleen Country Day School, he looked like the little old man.

Perhaps it was not the wisest decision to always wear the three-piece suit and the fedora while others were wearing the blue jeans, puffer vests and puka shells, but tossed about on the stormy sea of pubescence, the formality of the old man clothing was the sort the life preserver for the young Manolo.

While all the other kids were trading hastily scribbled notes about the crushes and the grudges, the Manolo would hook his walking stick onto his arm, gallantly doff his hat and present his calling card. Often the response would be less than generous, and more than once the Manolo found himself on the receiving end of the noogie, or the wet willie, or the dreaded atomic swirly

Still, despite the rudeness of others, the Manolo believes, then as now, that the old-fashioned etiquettes and social graces are still the best.

Here is the Diema from the Calvin Klein, the sophisticated kitten heel that will see you through the transition to adulthood.

Diema from Calvin Klein

NOV
2013
22

Manolo the Columnist: Ashton from Allen-Edmonds

Manolo says, here is the recent column of the Manolo for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

My engineer husband needs a new pair of shoes. He has had the same pair of black wingtips for the last twenty years, which he wears to every function that requires shoes more formal than sneakers. Can you suggest something brown?

Rebecca

Manolo says, it is true! The engineers have the well-earned reputation for the unworldly practicality; the very people who invented and wear the convertible cargo pants with the legs that zip off.

“Bob,” says the Mrs. Engineer, “you can’t wear those to your uncle’s funeral.”

“What’s wrong with them? I’ve put the legs back on.”

The simple fact is, the world needs the engineers more than the engineers need the world. Without the engineers, and their ancient predecessors building the ziggurats and the aqueducts, the human peoples would still be living in the caves and eating the raw carrion.

Of the course, for whatever reason, the world of the 21st century has decided it is the good thing to neglect the engineer, preferring instead to heap it’s affection on the hucksters who have given us the ability to express our deepest thoughts in hashtags and emoticons. (By the way, be sure to please follow the Manolo on the Twitter @ShoeBlogger)

Let us resolve this very day to be nicer to the peoples who keep our sewage systems and power plants functioning, so that we may enjoy the manifest benefits of indoor plumbing and modern life.

Here is the Ashton from Allen-Edmonds the brown in-between shoe that would be suitable for both the place of engineering employment and the more casual affair involving the pants whose legs are firmly attached.

Ashton from Allen-Edmonds