Manolo’s Shoe Blog

Manolo says, this week our friend Spirit Fingers has challenged us to identify the movies about the fake musicians.

Manolo says, it is Tuesday, time to see what the Manolo is…

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The Manolo finally managed to see the Sex and the City movie.

His reaction: In the word, meh.

Although supposedly set in the present day, the movie seemed dated, as if it were the daguerreotype from the previous millennium, quaintly hinting at the outdated customs and obsolete mores of the distant past.

On the one of the hands, Carrie and her pals were sweeter and more vulnerable, more desperately romantic, than we have ever before seen them (although less funny). They were also more likable than ever, except for Cynthia Nixon, who should be dropped down the long mine shaft and left there until she realizes how truly blessed her cinematic life (with its great job, wonderful child, and good-looking if drippy man) is.

The girls were also, despite the smutty talk and Kim Cantrell’s absurdly sexualized character, entirely monogamous in their relationships, which was something of the relief to the old man Manolo, who believes that intense monogamous love between two peoples is perhaps the greatest of the Almighty’s gifts.

Yet, while there were good things, on the other of the hands, the movie dragged on interminably, piling up senseless subplots and meaningless details. Yawn.

Worse, the movie’s attempts at bringing the romantic longings of the characters (and the audience) to fruition were misguided and inadequate. Shaped as the semi-conventional romantic comedy, Sex and the City contained little that could be considered romantic.

Take for the example, Mr. Big, held up by the movie as the choicest piece of man meat to ever tread the earth, with his dyed hair, droopy jowls, shaped eyebrows, and his indecisive, dreary, somnambulantly sulky ways. At least he was rich, moderately available, tall, and rich (did the Manolo mention that he was rich? It was very important in this movie, the richiosity of Mr. Big, able to buy Park Avenue apartments and fill their commodious closets with swag.)

Query: What is less romantic than the vacillating, indecisive, weakly lover?

Answer: The movie that confuses wealth for romantic desirability.

Oh, how the Manolo wishes he could have swapped Chris Noth for Tom Selleck!

Tom Selleck: charming, virile, decisive, funny, cheerful, and at 63, still the hunkiest man in Hollywood!

Chris Noth in Sex and the City: drippy!

But, you must play the hand you were dealt, and Mr. Big is apparently the only man who would have Carrie Bradshaw, looking, as she does, ever more like Miss Havisham…

Ayyyyy!

I saw that the bride within the bridal dress had withered like the dress, and like the flowers, and had no brightness left but the brightness of her sunken eyes. I saw that the dress had been put upon the rounded figure of a young woman, and that the figure upon which it now hung loose, had shrunk to skin and bone. Once, I had been taken to see some ghastly waxwork at the Fair, representing I know not what impossible personage lying in state. Once, I had been taken to one of our old marsh churches to see a skeleton in the ashes of a rich dress, that had been dug out of a vault under the church pavement. Now waxwork and skeleton seemed to have dark eyes that moved and looked at me. I should have cried out, if I could.

~Charles Dickens, Great Expectations.

And frankly this is another of the problems of the movie. attempting to sell us lean mutton as plump lamb.

This is not to say that romantic comedies that feature middle aged persons cannot be good, and satisfying, and funny, only that Carrie wanted to play the part of the virginal ingenue, rather than the mature woman with the frightening romantic history. The potential for humor and romanticism was undermined by this insistence.

But, the Manolo is confident that the actor of Tom Selleck’s caliber could have convinced even the skeptical, disbelieving audience that Sarah Jessica Parker is the hotty, could have convinced us that she is the suitable lead for the romantic comedy.

Ultimately, for the Manolo, the only romantic scene in the entire movie was the wedding at the courthouse, with Carrie in the demure suit, and Mr. Big finally wakened from his movie-long slumber. But, if Sex and the City were truly romantic, that would have happened in the first act of the fifteen minute long, single reel film, which would be followed by the feature length Tom and Jerry cartoon.

Manolo says, many of the Manolo’s internet friends have been saying to the Manolo, “Manolo, you are the man of great taste, culture, and wit, please to recommend for us the suitable gifts for the holiday season.”

And so the Manolo has heard the cries and will now give you his five favorite DVDs for gift giving purposes.

The Funniest Television Show Ever

Finding the Flight of the Conchords is like finding the perfect little absurdist world, where everything, every detail, every musical note, every facial expression is not only hilarious, but hilariously true. You know that this is how the world is for some peoples, principally, naive Kiwi sort-of-hipsters trying to make the go of it in New York. Yes, the interactions between the characters is funny, but it is the dead-perfect song parodies that make this something you will watch repeatedly.

The Best Movie of 2007

Ratatouille is not merely wonderfully funny, it also has profound things to say about art, artists, and critics, but does so lightly, in the best way possible. The writing is perfect, the comic timing is deft, and the animation amuses. The Manolo cannot recommend this movie highly enough.

The Most Uncompromisingly Funny Television Show Ever

Undoubtedly, Absolutely Fabulous is the most uncomfortably, hilariously funny television show ever made about the topics of aging, boozing, unpleasant sex, bad plastic surgery, and the uncompromising demands of fashion. Also, undoubtedly, this series could not be made today, as the neopuritan impulses of the new millennium have decreed that such things are no longer supposed to be funny. But they are. Get it before it is outlawed.

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Manolo says, it is Tuesday, time to see what the Manolo is…

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The Manolo must admit that he came away from the American Gangster movie dissatisfied and more the little disappointed.

The first and most prominent problem is that not for the single instant did the Manolo buy that Russell Crowe (of whom the Manolo is the giant, huge fan) was the tough Jewish street cop from New Jersey. Firstly, his accent was terrible, nearly as bad as the “southern” accents of Nicole Kidman and Jude Law in Cold Mountain. And secondly he just did not look right, or act right, in the part. In short, he was miscast.

The second problem is that much of the middle part of the movie is boring. It drags as we endure both the tedious Russell Crowe, family-courtroom-drama sub-plot, and yet one more small scene of Denzel Washington acting resolutely criminal and earnest at the same time. Boring!

For the Manolo, the only time the movie really comes alive is when Josh Brolin appears as the corruptest of corrupt cops. He crackles with sparkling menace and is the only unpredictable thing in this terribly predictable movie.

Yes, there were good things, such as the sets and the costumes and the music and some of the secondary characters, but otherwise, this is not the movie you will long remember, which is odd, as the source material, the article “The Return of Superfly, in the New York Magazine, is wonderfully memorable.

Manolo says, the Good Glinda, blogger extraordinaire at the Teeny Manolo has posted her list of the Top Twenty Movies for the Kids. Many of these are choices with which the Manolo cannot disagree (The Iron Giant, in particular, is the brilliant and touching piece of film making).

However, the Manolo believe that this list is too slanted to the films of the past 30 years. What of the Old Yeller (the Manolo’s eyes well up at the very mention of this movie), or the National Velvet, with young Elizabeth Taylor, or the other great children’s classics of the 1940s and 1950s?

You must go now and contribute your voice to this important discussion.

Manolo says, what bothers the Manolo here is not that Carrie Bradshaw is the older bride, but that this gown emphasizes how Sarah Jessica Parker has exercised herself into the haggard state. She appears desiccated, as if all of the life and youth have been wrung out of her.

The result is pathetic and faintly tragic.

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Manolo says, this little video, from one of the Manolo’s Hollywood friends, made the Manolo laugh out loud.

Manolo says, Little Edie meets Madonna!

Thanks to the Gala, who is fast becoming one of the Manolo’s favorite bloggers.

Manolo says, for your Friday viewing pleasure, here are some of the shoes worn in 1963 by the Elizabeth Taylor when she was the Cleopatra.

Would these not be perfect for your summer boating excursions with your very own stentorian Tony the Roman?